As a continuing public service, Grunt and Grunt Son #2 have purchased, at considerable expense, a Russian Officer’s MRE from shady characters in the Ukrainian underworld, and we occasionally eat some of it and report on its goodness, or lack of, just in case you’re interested. You never know when you might find yourself holed up in a basement in Uzbekistan with nothing but a closet full of beet vodka and Russian MREs. If that’s your dilemma, we might save you some nausea by telling you which tins NOT to open. In every case, you should ALWAYS drink the beet vodka. It’s never as bad as you think. Even in Uzbekistan.
Tonight’s experiment is a critical one, because it’s the closest thing to bacon you’ll get in a Russian MRE, and we know that bacon is critical to survival. I believe the label indicates salt pork or salty bacon. Take a look at this label. Memorize it. Then never, EVER open anything you see like it.
What were these Ruskies thinking? That this raw rind was, in any way, ready to eat, right out of the tin? I don’t get it. First, there’s not a TRACE of meat in here. Not the slightest sliver to interrupt the clean white pig fat. However, there IS some kind of gellatinous belly skin layer that you normally don’t find on raw American bacon. I don’t know if it’s good. I couldn’t get past the look. Call me a pussy; I don’t care. But this is not food, unless it could be slapped on a very hot engine block for a half hour or so. Even then, it would be ok in a starvation situation only. That’s my assessment, and Son #2 agrees. Portion consumed? Zero percent. Edibility rating? Zero.
Next time: Berry mush. Yum.