Russian MRE Review, Part 3: Goulash and Coffee, Russian Style

Back around Christmas, the youngest Grunt son, who is a survival nut and Russophile, used my credit card to buy an incredibly expensive Russian officer’s MRE from some shady Ukrainian underworld website.  Luckily I was able to cancel his Russian Bride order before she showed up at the airport.  Anyway the MRE package weighed 2 kg, which is a pretty heavy ration, but it still cost something like $10/lb, so I’ve been closely watching his progress at eating it – partly out of amusement, but also because I want to be able to rush him to the hospital and let them know it’s either heavy-metal poisoning or Chernobyl-related plutonium radiation.  It’s been fun, so I’m sharing as a public service.

RMRE1Today’s meal didn’t make him sick, and was actually pretty tasty.  It was labeled Goulash with potatoes.  Given past experience with Russian packaging, we were fairly stunned to see that it also looked and tasted like goulash with potatoes.  While we were analyzing the dish for breakfast with the Russian instant “кофе” and some tea and fruit drink-like gatorade stuff, the conversation went something like this:

“This beef really isn’t too bad.”
“Why is there beef in here?  The package just says goulash with potatoes.  Shouldn’t it say BEEF goulash with potatoes?”
“Maybe this isn’t beef.  Check the label again.”
“Nope what?”
“No beef.  Just says goulash.”

So the bottom line is that the goulash is good, and whatever little meat gems are in there, whether they be goat or guinea pig or porcupine, it really tastes pretty much like beef, so that’s good.  We give it an 8.5 out of 10.  Definitely recommended.  Enjoy.


About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
This entry was posted in Family Survival, Food. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Russian MRE Review, Part 3: Goulash and Coffee, Russian Style

  1. barnslayer says:

    No beef listed in the ingredients.
    In America FDA watches food that goes into you. In soviet Russia KGB watches you go into food.

  2. ZurichMike says:

    Coming off a stomach bug that laid me out for two days, I passed on evening looking too closely at this! LOL.

    • That was a good move! Here, I’ll try to make up for it with a nice image of some Swiss chocolate.

      What do you eat there when you’re sick? I heard a story once that the guy who “Alfredo” is named after whipped up a big plate of fettucini with cream and cheese sauce for his sick wife. He claimed it cured her right away. At least that’s the legend, but you know those Italians. 😉 Maybe that’s what you need: call up Mama Rosa’s down the street and have them deliver an emergency plate of fettucini alfredo.

      • Humph! So much for the MRE’s 😉

      • ZurichMike says:

        Läderach chocolates (see poster in background) are excellent. It is a niche production facility for other chocolatiers and they make, among other things, those fancy little things you see in the display case (collectively called “pralines”). I have visited its factory and reduced-price store (OMG!). Fabulous goodies to be had and devoured.

        My mom reminded me of the “BRAT” diet for stomach bugs: bananas, rice, applesauce, toast. I only had plain rice and toast because I am not such a fan of either bananas or applesauce. I know I am better because the smell of coffee, my beverage of choice, no longer wants to make me retch. I can’t imagine a heavy fettucine sauce as being helpful for an upset stomach, but then again, who knows?

        By the way, I just noticed that when I click on the “home” button of your blog, I get an old listing of articles that I thought (because I did not have my morning coffee yet) were new posts and I starting commenting again. I then realized that the posts go back to 2011 is some cases, and I had previously commented on some these articles. So I am not sure if it’s something on my side or the blog side. FYI.

        • I think I see what happened. Somehow (you never know with WordPress), you got directed to my personal blog, the Blog of Monte Cristo, perhaps by clicking on my gravatar. It hasn’t been updated in months, but I generally try to repost things I’ve personally written on 4gfc over there just so I have a record of it. You ended up commenting on some of those old posts over there. But that’s ok! I appreciate it!

  3. Back in the late 70’s I used to buy, stock and sell RME’s through a MLM company. They were extremely good. I would go down to the wharf where I would sell them to transpac racers. Actually been on Dennis Conner’s “Stars N Stripes. Beautiful boat!

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