Top Ten Current Political Jokes

Collected by Kyle Becker of the Independent Journal Review and trimmed to a list of 10 by Doug Ross.  Hat tip, IOTW:

obama-laughing10. “It is not looking good for President Obama. Today, his teleprompter took the fifth.” –Jay Leno

9. “People always say this to me: ‘Hey, Letterman,’ they say. ‘Why don’t you make jokes about Obama?’ All right, I’ll tell you why. I don’t make jokes about him because I don’t want the FBI tapping my phone, that’s why.” –David Letterman

8. “Holder is shakier than a jackhammer operator playing Jenga on his lunch break. And what about Jay Carney over there? He’s got a worse bluff than Marty Feldman holding pocket aces. That cat blows more smoke than a Rastafarian’s death rattle. Couple more weeks like this and Obama’s gonna be claimin’ he’s Kenyan” –Dennis Miller

7. “During a Senate hearing yesterday, Senator John McCain said it was too hard to always have to update apps on his iPhone. No one has the heart to tell him the device he was holding was a garage door opener.” –Conan O’Brien

6. “President Obama is in a lot of hot water lately. Despite the scandals, 53 percent of Americans say they approve of the job he’s doing. The other 47 percent are being audited.” –Conan O’Brien

5. “President Obama gave the commencement address at Morehouse College over the weekend. Great speech, very inspiring. He told the young graduates their future is bright – unless, of course, they want jobs.” –Jay Leno

4. “I wouldn’t be surprised if President Obama learned Osama bin Laden had been killed when he saw himself announce it on television.” –Jon Stewart

3. “As for how much tax [the lottery winner’s] gonna have to pay on that $590 million, the IRS said it’s too soon to tell, ‘cause they don’t know if she’s a Republican or a Democrat. So, it’s going to take a while to figure that out.” –Jay Leno

2. “This week marks the 40th anniversary of the Watergate hearings. For those of you too young to remember, back then the administration had an enemies list. They were spying on reporters, and they used the IRS to harass groups they didn’t like. Thank God those days are gone forever.” –Jay Leno

1. “I feel bad for Barack Obama. He’s got the Benghazi scandal, the IRS scandal, and the FBI wiretapping phones. The president is in so much trouble politically, he’s thinking about killing bin Laden again.” –David Letterman

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About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
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10 Responses to Top Ten Current Political Jokes

  1. Some good ones, though I remember Conan telling a joke similar to #7 a few years ago involving John McCain tweeting about Major League Baseball’s All-Star Game selections.

  2. barnslayer says:

    Oblamer is a lame duck. Let’s see how willing these guys are to unload on Hitlery.

  3. Aussie says:

    Meanwhile in Oz we are telling knitting jokes!!

    If you want to know, it is about the Crime Minister making claims that she is knitting… items held up do not match the story!!

    Being a knitter myself, I can tell that something is wrong with the pictures we are seeing. This weekend, on my favourite site we were cracking a few jokes about knitting including about Mme de Farge!! 🙂

    • Funny stuff, Aussie. We can only hope that your Crime Minister meets the same fate, and soon, of Madame Defarge. For the curious, from Wiki:
      Madame Thérèse Defarge is a fictional character in the book A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. She is a tricoteuse, a tireless worker for the French Revolution, and the wife of Ernest Defarge.
      She is arguably the main villain of the novel, and ruthlessly seeks revenge against the Evrémondes, including Charles Darnay, his wife Lucie Manette and their child, for crimes a prior generation of the Evrémonde family had committed. These crimes include the deaths of her sister, brother, and father. Eventually, her quest for vengeance becomes her own undoing and results in her downfall and death.
      Defarge represents one aspect of the Fates. The Moirai (the Fates as represented in Greek mythology) used yarn to measure out the life of a man, and cut it to end it; Defarge knits, and her knitting secretly encodes the names of people to be killed.

      • Aussie says:

        Yes, indeed. Read the book, better than Wikpedia.

      • Aussie says:

        Mme DeFarge knitted the name of Charles Darnay, Lucie Manette and her child, as well as Dr. Manette who had attempted to save the life of her sister.

        It was fitting that she was killed by the nurse who had looked after Lucie in England.

        Sidney Carton also remains my hero. 🙂

  4. ZurichMike says:

    Even jokes comparing Obama’s scandals to Nixon’s Watergate is an exercise in moral equivalency on steroids. Obama’s battalions of fascist thugs and “czars” pretending to be civil servants make Nixon’s bunglers look like high school kids throwing toilet-paper in trees on Hallowe’en. Unlike Watergate, people died in Obama’s Fast and Furious and Benghazi scandals. An entire presidential race has been thrown into doubt because of a concerted effort to keep Tea Party get-out-the-vote organizations from getting their tax-exempt status. Obama should be taken down and run back to the hellhole in Chicago that spawned him and his ruinous Marxist lunacy. If the stakes were not as high, perhaps it would be a laughing matter. The response is not laughter, but it should be a seething, red-hot, exploding super-nova anger at a reckless, feckless, anti-US, pro-one world Marxist lapdog named Barack Hussein Obama.

    anthrax, nuclear weapons, ricin

    • What he said. x1,000,000!

    • Aussie says:

      However, the analolgy remains because it shows exactly how incompetent were the Nixon crew compared to the thugs presently in the White House.

      The zinger in my view happens to be the fact that when Nixon wanted the IRS to investigate people they refused, but when Soetoro demands a person or persons be investigated, they comply, including leaking documents to their opposition (National Organization for Marriage had documents leaked to Human Events).

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