Gruntington Post – The Secret Service has admitted that they “still have no idea” how Syrian President Bashar al-Assad was able to openly sign into the White House Friday and attend a photo op in the super-secure White House situation room that was ostensibly a meeting to discuss the bombing of his country by American military forces.
Apparently none of the officials and military officers in the room realized the identity of the mustachioed man at the end of the table. Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Martin Dempsey, in an exclusive GruntPost interview Tuesday, seemed amused by the incident, and downplayed the danger to national security. “It was a routine photo-op, ok? Pete Souza (White House photographer) is always setting up those damn things. It’s not like anything was actually discussed about Syria. I was so busy preparing a presentation on my laptop in the back of the room that I wouldn’t have noticed the guy, and neither would anybody else at that table. The cabinet-level clowns at the other end of the room were so busy trying to look thoughtful while playing video poker with their other hands under the table, they wouldn’t know it if Lady Gaga was standing on that table.”
Asked about White House security, the General continued: “And the Secret Service? Who can blame them for letting this one slip past ’em. There are so many people of Middle Eastern descent running around this White House at all hours, how would they know? And that’s not even counting Huma and all her “brothers” who practically live in the West Wing. Everybody knows them. If anybody would recognize him, it should be Secretary Kerry. He’s always bragging about how many times he’s visited the Assad family in Damascus. But he talks about a lot of places he’s been, like Vietnam, and I’m not sure I believe him completely.”
Not everyone is complacent about President Assad’s stunt, however. President Obama was rumored to have been so angry about it that he refused to answer any questions from reporters and sent Vice President Joe Biden to address the issue at his usual press release during happy hour at Bilbo Baggins Green Dragon Pub in Alexandria, Virginia. The VP stated flatly that “thish is not really a big f*$^ing deal.” But he countered with: “But the Preshident wants to make it cryshtal clear that if Bashar Asshad doesn’t washtch out, Barry will kick hish assh, just like he did Oshama Bin Ladsden!” No further statements were decipherable.