Former DefSec Bob Gates Slips, Falls on Knife 68 Times

800px-Robertgates_tamuSEATTLE (Duffel Blog-1/8/2014) – Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates is in critical-but-stable condition in Seattle-Tacoma General Hospital after a tragic accident in his home kitchen left him brutally stabbed multiple times, sources confirmed this morning.

Gates’ wife Becky found him lying on the floor of the family kitchen and called 911, according to a family spokesperson.

Investigators believe Gates, 70, slipped on an orange peel while preparing breakfast and fell onto a paring knife 68 times. Paramedics confirmed that while grabbing for a handhold to stabilize himself, he also accidentally discharged a 20-gauge shotgun into the back of his own head three times. At some point several minutes earlier, he also mistook arsenic for Equal, stirring the deadly poison into his morning tea.

Mrs. Gates, while upset, was in high spirits and family confirmed she had gone to the hospital to be with her husband.

Gates has attracted a significant amount of attention due to his upcoming memoir titled Duty: Memoirs of a Secretary at War. The book, set for release on Jan. 14, offers harsh criticism of President Obama’s approach to the war in Afghanistan and distrust of uniformed military advisors.  Read the whole article at the Duffel Blog.

Advertisements

About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
This entry was posted in Blogospheria, Defense, Humor, Obamanana Republic. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Former DefSec Bob Gates Slips, Falls on Knife 68 Times

  1. texan59 says:

    Something tells me you’re not too far off. The only thing missing is an AR-15 killing machine. 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s