4GFC Sold to Al Jazeera; Workers Offered Full-Employment in Indonesian Labor Camps

imagesWhen workers at the popular conservative blog “For God, Family and Country” showed up for work on Tuesday, they got a surprise when their keycards no longer worked at the imposing security gate outside their Hawaiian blog headquarters, pictured at right. Even though the property was owned by one of the five founding bloggers, GFCinThatOrder, and supported by 11 or 12 other writers, many had forgotten that the WordPress account for the blog was opened by another founder named RedPill who suddenly realized that the website had accumulated a small cash value. Within a few days, RedPill and his wife had sold the site to Al Jazeera and used the proceeds to buy a hugely profitable, Chrislam-themed coffee hut called Holy Goat. They are pictured below with their swanky coffee boutique. Holy goat Although RedPill and his wife seemed happy with this arrangement, the other bloggers were not, despite the generous offer of new employment, with benefits, by the new buyer. The employment did not involve writing, since all of the acquired slaves, er, workers were not considered “qualified” to write for Al Jazeera. When interviewed about their status, Mehmet Ali Nardal, head of Human Resources, indicated that “stupid Tea Party infidels” are not allowed to speak, much less write anything, according to company policy. “It is an honor for them to be offered full employment in the serval cat coffee plantations of Indonesia. That is more than adequate work for them.”  When informed that none of the bloggers felt suited to picking coffee, Nardal laughed. “They wish! Only good Muslims are allowed to pick the coffee. These troublemakers will spend their days picking through serval cat excrement to recover the coffee beans that have passed through their furry little bodies. If they are good workers, we may let them taste the coffee beans to see if they have become seasoned sufficiently in the bowels of the cats. But only if they are very good. The coffee, it is expensive. Most expensive in the world.”1109_CCR_08

One of the displaced bloggers, Barnslayer, swore to fight the relocation and use violence if necessary.  Although he has recently been forced to sell off many of his firearms, Barnslayer still owned a fully functional Soviet T-55 tank.  In anticipation of the fight, Barn spent all Tuesday morning working on the twin engines of the tank.  After lunch, he returned to find that Shalini, another blogger who had been idle since the takeover, had quilted a colorful dust cover for the tank as her contribution to morale.article-1368264-0B424C3200000578-515_634x395

Her effort might have had a positive effect, but upon seeing the cover over the tank, Solaratov opened fire with a barrage of recoilless rifle fire, utterly destroying the tank and the cover, thinking that the tank had been captured by anti-war hippies. He thus attempted, successfully, to put it out of its misery.TamilnetTv SLMortarsDestroyed1

Left without weapons, the remaining bloggers withdrew to a small ranch outside Kilauea where Knight and Grunt were able to convert a tractor to an effective mobile artillery piece using horse manure as ammunition.  After an initially ineffectual barrage of the Al Jazeera position at the blog HQ, they switched to pig manure, and managed to get the new management to completely abandon the premises.  Even though they had the benefit of ZMalfoy calling in coordinates for the bombardment, some of the manure ordnance inexplicably fell on the Holy Goat coffee hut many miles away, in Hilo, destroying it.

It wasn’t until the entire group retired to GFCinThatOrder’s Machine Shop, Horse Livery, Radiator Repair and Taqueria down on Highway 130, and they finished drinking all of his good Irish whiskey, that the day’s tragedies were finally put in perspective and all was forgiven.  It was especially noted that no matter how much damage had been done to the blog that day, nothing could be as frightening as the prospect of having to work with Al Gore on Al Jazeera.  At least that bullet was dodged.  And it was also noted that today was April 1st, and that this must be the Open Thread of the Day.

Gore-Al_Jazeera-Current_TV_s640x427

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About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
This entry was posted in Blogospheria, Humor. Bookmark the permalink.

109 Responses to 4GFC Sold to Al Jazeera; Workers Offered Full-Employment in Indonesian Labor Camps

  1. zmalfoy says:

    😆 Awesome story, Grunt!

  2. zmalfoy says:

    Here’s a not so cool story: The Navy Seal who spoke to Judge Jeanine Piro about how easy it is to dismantly the US Power Grid was shot in a parking lot last Friday Night.

    http://www.ohio.com/news/break-news/former-navy-seal-shot-in-bath-township-parking-lot-police-seek-suspects-1.477215

    http://foxnewsinsider.com/2014/02/23/ex-navy-seal-christopher-mark-heben-power-grid-%E2%80%98amazingly-easy-dismantle%E2%80%99

    I’m telling you, someone is targeting our best warriors– anytime a name becomes public, they seem to end up dead within a very short time. [Except Mr. Luttrell. That may be because he’s that badass, or at this point, too well known. ]

    • zmalfoy says:

      To clarify. He wasn’t killed, just wounded. Point still remains.

    • texan59 says:

      I am “friends” with this guy over on FB. He seems to be a pretty normal guy. While I don’t always wear my tin-foil, I had exactly the same thought as you Zoph. While social media can be all well and good for promoting your cause, there’s a reason that I don’t post vacation pics or anything like that until I’ve returned home. Need to know basis.

  3. texan59 says:

    Hehe! Good one. 😆

  4. barnslayer says:

    I miss my tank. Too bad Sol didn’t.

  5. Very interesting! Fortunately 4/1 is also a memorial of a great tsunami that washes this “holy goat” mess clean away! NOMT!

  6. texan59 says:

    For all those who used to go old school laundering money, there might just be a problem. 🙄

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/04/01/feds-may-enlist-casinos-to-vet-high-rollers-funds/

    • texan59 says:

      Nat’l. Journal had some piece today about how CH4 is going to destroy the world. How do we square this circle. 😆

    • MRM says:

      ahem…

      • 😀
        My theory on this is that some vegetarians (not you, obviously – you’re in great shape) may overdo it on the sugar. I’ve known a few that did that and ended up still being overweight, despite the seemingly better diet, and I think the excess simple carbs are hard on you also. But I’m not sure why this wouldn’t also apply equally well with meat eaters. Surely an equal number of them are overweight, too? At least?

        • MRM says:

          you’re right of course. There are so many people who say they’re vegetarians who haven’t a clue. Also, a lot of the “meat substitutes” are full of junk fillers. I’ve certainly seen my fair share of unhealthy veggie types over the years! 🙂

      • texan59 says:

        My apologies darlin’. You’re one of the good veggies. 😉

    • Aussie says:

      Of course we are healthier than the veg heads!! Have you ever noticed how veg heads always look pale and pasty? Then there is a matter of how their brains function most of the time.
      I could delve a lot more into this subject, but I do urge you to find out more about the Albigenses.

      • Not always true, Aussie. We actually had breakfast with MRM once, and she’s a very slim but healthy & beautiful vegetarian. I felt like a fat pig eating my Denver omelet on the other side of the table. She’s good natured about it, and didn’t once make fun of my boys’ grunting noises as they hungrily devoured their carnivore special plates. We also had some good laughs about all the bacon talk on the blogs. I think she, like many, do it for the right reasons and do it well.

        • Aussie says:

          I am aware that there are a few who are vegetarians and who are healthy. I assume these are the ones who will eat eggs etc.

          There are others who go overboard. These are the ones who do seem to be unhinged and they are cult-like in their approach to vegetarianism.

          Vegetarian is not for me. I like my meat. However, I can see the sense in having maybe a few meals each week without meat. I personally do not eat eggs, tomatoes, cucumbers or passionfruit. Mayonnaise is also on the banned list, and I suspect that orange juice is about to join the list. This is for health reasons.. and I hate the reaction that I have so it is better not to induce that reaction!! 🙂

          • Can’t argue with that. We also see some point in going meatless for at least one day a week, often more. And fasting gets worked in every once in a while. But we do like the variety, otherwise.

        • MRM says:

          Thanks Grunt! I thoroughly enjoyed breakfast with the Grunts – all charming and lovely, not to mention gracious about my veggie-ness. @Aussie, I don’t eat eggs per se (except in the occasional cookie or piece of cake) and in general eat “nothing with a mother”. I don’t do tofu either or any of the other soy based meat substitutes – so I guess I’m not your everyday veg. I’ve been eating this way for well over half my life and raised my children on a vegetarian diet as well. They were the healthiest kids I knew and are both taller than their father and I. But, to each his own. I would never presume to tell anyone else how to eat. I’m used to the pale and pasty comments – and have definitely encountered my share of that type of vegetarian myself….especially back in the early days when I shopped at food co-ops in college towns. I’ve always thought it amusing that while I would never sit across the table from a meat-eater and comment negatively on what was on his or her plate, many meat eaters think nothing of making comments about how disgusting sprouts are, or hummus, or tabouli…. go figure. (end of rant) 🙂

          • Aussie says:

            well tabouli is disgusting because it contains tomato!! 🙂
            There is nothing wrong with being vegetarian so long as there is adequate substitution for protein.
            I am a meat eater and I do not eat eggs except when used in other food :). There is a reason for that and it is because eggs that are not cooked totally make me vomit. It is simply easier to not eat them than it is to risk ending up driving the porcelain bowl.

            With the exception of beans my issues are solely related to the fact that certain foods make me ill.
            On the other hand, as you point out, it is possible to be vegetarian and healthy…. but there is the other type that I have mentioned and they are unhealthy!! Meat eaters can also be unhealthy, and there needs to be a happy medium 🙂

            • MRM says:

              exactly! I actually started out only as a fad, and continued (getting better at it) only because I felt so much healthier. It’s second nature to me now and I’ve never, ever felt deprived. I do believe that sugar is better than sugar substitutes, butter better than (most) margarine, and that the trend toward getting back to the real thing is a good one.

              • I sure agree with you there. I just finished an amazing baked potato with nice real butter and salt and pepper, and I’m still blissed out. 🙂

              • Aussie says:

                I agree that sugar is better than sugar substitutes. Most of those substitutes are extremely bad for the body. However, when people have diabetes they cannot handle the sugars in food. I am not one of those people, and my last test showed that I am normal !! (Yipee I proved the doctor wrong).

                The fanatics I am talking about are not even SDA and yes I know that SDA do not eat meat. The fanatics are people who see it as something that is moral to be vegetarian. This is why I mentioned the Albigenses and the movement known as the Cathari – the greenie vegetarians have a lot in common with the Cathari from the period when Robin Hood was said to exist. The Cathari were fanatical, and the vegetarians who are cult like are fanatical in much the same way.

                My comment was never about individuals who have taken up being vegetarian for other reasons.

                BTW I have seen comments from vegetarians condemning people who eat meat. You might not do that and you have had the opposite experience but that is life after all!!

              • MRM says:

                Aussie, I think you’ve summed it up with this: “The fanatics are people who see it as something that is moral to be vegetarian.” You’re exactly right. To me, it’s just the way of the left about anything at all they believe in. You (we) must also believe or be vilified and ruined. It goes back to that old email that makes the rounds every so often about the difference between conservatives and “liberals” (I call them leftists since there’s nothing liberal about them). If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a leftist is a vegetarian, he wants to pass a law that everyone must be a vegetarian!

          • What A Hoot says:

            Meat-eater here……and I can never get enough tabouli, hummus, Napal-style lentils, and black beans.

            • MRM says:

              so much yum!

              • texan59 says:

                My funny story about vegetarians comes from the first one I knew personally. I did not know this lady was a veggie until a group of us went to lunch one day. She was what one might call “substantially fluffy” and she kept talking about being a vegetarian. Once she ordered the cheese enchilada plate, chips and salsa did it all come together for me. 😉

              • MRM says:

                Hahaha Tex! I love the term “substantially fluffy”!!! I’m totally stealing it!
                My funniest “meat-eater” story is from a server at a well known steak house. One of her customers sent her steak back to be cooked more (burned, basically). She said it had to be very well done because her doctor had given her strict orders to give up red meat. 😉

              • Bwah hah haaaahhhh! 😆

    • ZurichMike says:

      I must be Superman, then. It’s all in the genes. Our family are all pretty big people, big animal product consumers, and we all live to be about 95 years old with any major medical issues. Cholesterol? Oh, pull-EEEZE!

  7. From Heritage Fn via iOTW:

  8. Lots of pushback on new brewery regs. I’m surprised Sen. Mark Udall is on the right side of this. He’s actually doing his job instead of rolling over for the bureaucracy. Must be a mistake.
    http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2014/04/01/beer-brewers-angry-about-proposed-fda-rule

    • texan59 says:

      I saw something about this yesterday. There is nothing that our gubmint doesn’t get their fingers in to screw it up.

  9. texan59 says:

    Bronco Bama crows like a banty rooster about 7.1M enrolless. RAND Corp.says it’s more like 850K that have actually paid. What a turd. Can’t wait for someone to tell me what Brian Williams and Diane Sawyer have to say tonight. I won’t be watching them.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2594309/President-plans-victory-lap-strong-Obamacare-enrollment-Sebelius-faces-unpopular-law-blank-stare-tough-questions-remain-whos-signing-up.html

  10. This is the photo that St. Peter will show to Nancy for the few seconds just before he pulls the lever that drops the trap door.

  11. texan59 says:

    Kim K. speaks out on Libya. Now we know where the haughty John Kerry gets his talking points. 🙄

    http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=860083

  12. zmalfoy says:

    8.0 Hits Chile
    Here’s some hard data, instead of the usual news coverage:

  13. Great! Now, on top of a flash flood warning, high surf warning, a winter warning (15 degrees on Mauna Kea) with snow in progress for the last three days, an active volcano still spewing lava and VOG, now we have a tsunami advisory coming in from the Chile 8.2 earthquake. I LOVE HAWAII 🙂

    • Knight4GFC says:

      Just to let you see how much rain we’ve had in the last 72 hours, check out Rainbow Falls here on the Big Island!

      http://up.anv.bz/latest/anvload.html?key=eyJtIjoiTElOIiwicCI6ImRlZmF1bHQiLCJ2IjoiMjQ5Mzk4In0=

    • Now for the good news: Our local Military base has announced that it may ban smoking on base altogether! What a bunch of morons. But maybe they have a secret agenda, after all BO smokes and he would not be allowed! This is how stupid people are!

    • Knight4GFC says:

      I LOVE HAWAII TOO! Especially when I am in the water. Nothing beats Hawaiian saltwater!

    • Aussie says:

      what about the global warming warning? Have you seen the latest garbage to come from the IPCC… and some of the authors come from very inferior Australian institutions!!

      • barnslayer says:

        Hey Aussie! How’ve you been?

        • Aussie says:

          It is a very long story as to where I have been. The story ended with a funeral a few weeks ago. My father-in-law passed away on 15 March.

          On top of that I had a small procedure on my nose to remove a basal cell carcinoma. I have the all clear… but my nose still hurts.

          There is a lot more that was happening and this is only a snippet 🙂

          • barnslayer says:

            Sorry for your loss. Regarding basil cell… (if you don’t already)…. start wearing brimmed hats. Anyways… welcome back!

            • Aussie says:

              Ah yes, I do wear a hat. The damage was done a long time ago, when I was fishing with my father from his boat. There was a lot of exposure to the sun.

              I am surprised that this is the only cancer spot that I have because I used to burn very easily. These days I stay out of the sun as much as possible, and yes I have my broad brimmed hats!! 🙂

              • I have a basal cell removal scar on the back of my head, similar to your nose, I guess. Mine was in an area that was covered in thick hair most of my life, so I never understood how it could be sun-related. Cancer is a strange beast.

              • Aussie says:

                Grunt that is a good point. How can anyone explain something like that.

                It could be that as a baby you were exposed to the sun on your bald baby head.

                I am certain that sun exposure is to blame for my bcc. The reason is simple: I have a tendency to burn in the sun, and it is very easy for me to burn!! There were many times when my nose was sunburnt.

                What amazes me is that in the spots where the burning was so bad that I had blisters, there is not a sign of any skin cancers. There is a spot on my face and the other place is my chest…. and not a single sign of skin cancer to date!!

              • That’s a good point. I also remember an Australian study of fair-skinned lifeguards who were exposed to extraordinary levels of unprotected sunshine, and they inexplicably showed very low incidence of skin cancer. The causality is complicated, I guess.

              • Aussie says:

                Yes. It is hard to understand. My husband is darker-skinned than myself. I fit the profile of someone with the Celt background (Irish and Scot for starters), and on top of that there is an extra dollop of Saxon just for good measure. So I am fair-skinned.

                When I was young I used to burn very easily. If I used those sun oils the burn was worse than if I had used nothing. The sun protection did not prevent me from getting burnt. My nose was always a target for getting burnt. I used to wear a hat when fishing with my father. It was just a floppy hat which was common at the time. I still got burn on my face and nose. I used to get burned on my shoulders and back too. On one occasion I ended up with wind burn on my face, and that led to the blister. On another occasion, I was in the shade and ended up with an extremely bad burn on my chest and it also blistered – that was a really terrible burn and it hurt like one thing. Yet, there is no sign, so far of skin cancers in either spot.

                My later sister used to spend a lot of time in the sun. She did not have any skin cancers as far as I am aware. My other sister has not had any skin cancers. I was the only one who used to get very bad burns from the sun when we used to spend hours on the beach each summer.

                Over the years I stopped spending so much time in the sun. In recent years this is because of the medication that I am taking. It is not good to go in the sun when taking certain medication.

                I would actually suggest that perhaps the skin cancer research has always taken populist ideas and it has not really looked at why it is that some people end up with skin cancers and yet others seem unaffected.

                In my husband’s case it can be argued that his exposure to pollutants from aircraft has played a role in his skin cancers. He was recently diagnosed with Bowen’s disease and he had a squamous cell carcinoma removed from his nose.

          • MRM says:

            It’s good to “see” you – and I’m sorry you’ve been going through a rough time!

            • Aussie says:

              Yes, it has been a very rough time, and you would not believe everything that happened over a period of months. It included a fall down the stairs at home (I had brusing on my arm), a diagnosis for bursitis in my left hip and then just as I was getting better after having an injection, a car accident that caused a minor flare. I did have a serious arthritis flare in November which was also indicated in a blood test. On top of everything else I was getting a skin infection that led to the latest diabetes test (yuk) and thankfully that was normal!! The diagnosis for the bcc almost had me floored but not after I looked up some information. Right now, my nose continues to hurt just a little bit but I will be fine.

              • MRM says:

                Oh good grief!!! That’s a LOT to deal with in a relatively short time! I’m glad you’re coming out of it all and will be okay!

              • Aussie says:

                yes, I am coming out of it!!

                I think the thing that upset me the most has to be the car accident and the mini flare that followed. It was a small set-back after having that injection and I thought that things would improve. Alas, every time it is likely to rain I continue to be sore and have a bad night… but I guess that is better than having a sore nose!! 🙂

  14. Knight4GFC says:

    TSUNAMI MESSAGE NUMBER 7
    NWS PACIFIC TSUNAMI WARNING CENTER EWA BEACH HI
    648 PM HST TUE APR 01 2014
    http://www.tsunami.gov/product.php?id=TSUHWX.20140402.0448.007

  15. What A Hoot says:

    Just for the record: The lime green “office” at headquarters — I call dibs!

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