Ok, I’ll See Your 35 Feminist Steps for Men and Raise You These 5 Suggestions for Womyn

American feminists almost never stop talking about how the most pathetic, most feminized, most emasculated generation of men the world has ever seen can become even better feminists.  You see, it’s not good enough for men to stop being self-centered jerks, or to be “gentlemen” or even to accept unquestioning subservient stances in our relationships with women.  We need serious reeducation in every aspect of our lives.  And this work, apparently, is never done.men-feminism-e1372102217532

So, naturally, when Texan59 showed me this very helpful list on the womyn’s blogsite http://www.xojane.com, I immediately studied the 35 “practical steps for men” compiled by young academic Pamela Clark to see how I could become a better feminist.

The first thing that struck me about Ms. Clark’s list is how thoroughly advanced and fine-tuned it was.  There’s not a whole lot in her list about serious knuckle-draggers, rapists or Taliban coffeehouse behavior.  Being a young PhD candidate, Ms. Clark, has only known pre-feminized men.  All the heavy lifting of shouting down that kind of behavior was done by her feminist sisters decades ago, so she’s blessed with a young crop of university girly-men to work with, and her list reflects that.  When she rolls up her sleeves, she gets to focus on the minutiae of cost-sharing etiquette and reading lists.  How great is that?  Feminism is now so advanced it’s like the the mysterious and demanding disciplines of the Samarai or Bujinkan.  You may spend your whole life studying l’art de la femme, but you will never be a master.

In gratitude for the list of 35 ways to improve my life, I feel obligated to reciprocate with my own small list for the gals.

Grunt’s Helpful List for Womyn: 5 Steps to Get Over Yourself

Before I get into the slammorama, let me just say that Ms. Clark’s advice has some real value, and I don’t mean to disparage all of it.  A surprising number of her suggestions could really be distilled down to “Just be a gentleman.”  I can’t argue with that, although I think it does rather beg the question about how she views the equality of women when so many of her suggestions for men seem to involve the enshrined pampering of women in one way or another.  Perhaps she’s working on the assumption that women have always been the pamperers, and men just need to give some back to be “equal.”  Perhaps we’ll deal with that question later with a “Where’s my sammich?” poll to see how well that usually works for the guys.

1. Finally admit that nobody has any idea what The Patriarchy really is.

People are individuals.  Individuals who, understandably, resent being blamed for the sins of others, particularly the sins of groups of people we have extremely loose connections to. That’s why racism is so widely and rightfully despised, but also why the idea of racial “reparations” is ironically just as bad, though it is intended to resolve the injustice.  Racism paints all members of a group with the same brush.  Reparations for past racial injustice is impossible to apply because groups can’t be made to stand trial and made to pay.  Only individuals can be found guilty.  Inevitably, the wrong individuals will be singled out when racial criteria are used to determine guilt.

The same thing happens in the war of the sexes.  Just look at the ridiculous demand that Pamela levies in item #8 and her basis for defending it in the comments.  She really believes that men have been so privileged in the past and bear the weight of so many sins against women that they can be asked to make up for that by paying, in this example, 100% of the cost of contraceptives in their relationships.  Just because she thinks they can afford it and “deserve” to pay.  Seems legit, huh?  But you see what she’s doing.  She’s making individuals pay for the sins of the Patriarchy.

And about that Patriarchy thing; what is it, exactly?  As near as I can tell, it means many things, including but not restricted to the “oppressive domination” of Almighty God, himself.  I think it’s fair to say that if you entertain this view of God, and see no benefit from your relationship with him, then we’re not going to agree on very much, so you can feel free to skip right to the comments where you can begin the name-calling right now.

2546574_f248But that’s not what most feminists mean when they speak of the Patriarchy.  They probably refer to the global, innate, male, old-boy’s club, not unlike the Illuminati, that pervades all societies and instinctively suppresses the desires of all women everywhere.  Now look, I’m not saying that such a thing is a complete fantasy, but I grew up in the early 1960s, and I admit that there was some male-domination action going on.  Women were not always taken very seriously.  At some level, that exists today in some places, especially in those countries that American liberals seem to admire so much for their surgical practices on young girls, or something.  But, for the love of Pamela, have you noticed what has happened since then in America?  Even as a kid, I hated being surrounded by the crushing feminist propaganda that permeated everything here to an extent that never really happened in Europe.  When I went to graduate school, I worked for a female engineering professor, and when it was time to get a job, companies hungrily scooped up female engineering graduates, hiring them over men and paying them more.  In the defense company where I put in over 20 years, we were always, seemingly, under the command of women in director and vice-president roles, and today, the CEO of the corporation is a woman.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I know that not everything has changed for American women.  There are still rich men (and women, now) who wield power over us and make our lives less than fulfilling.  That’s a fact.  But it seems that feminists, like Ms. Clark, don’t care to focus on the rich dudes and gals at the top of the food chain who rule our lives.  To them, the young men of dating age are just as much a part of the Patriarchy, and they bear the brunt of the call for reparations.  The way I see it, this view of the Patriarchy is a fantasy, and it’s as unjust to load them up with guilt as it is to blame a young Irish immigrant for the past crimes of slavery in this country.

2. Internalize the reality of the unearned privilege you were born into as a woman.

*snork* I can’t do it.  I just can’t keep a straight face while stating total bullish*t lines like this, which of course, is taken from Pamela’s item #34.  Ask any average guy about the “privilege” he’s inherited by being born male and see what kind of answers you get.  I won’t command you to believe them as Pamela does in item #6; I’ll let you decide whether to believe them or not.

3. Accept that you are neck deep in a big, cherished double standard.

You know that men will never really accept some of what you’re pushing here, right?  And you should know that they mock you about it when you’re not around.  Pamela’s items #23 and #24 are fun to consider at this point.  “Don’t treat your spouse like a nag.  If she is nagging, you are probably lagging.”  Also, “Know that acknowledging your own sexist opinions and stereotypes you hold is not enough.”  There are other items that make it clear, as well, that you should keep your stupid opinions to yourself, if you’re a man.  No criticism or shaming of women is allowed, of course.

So, what’s the point here?  It seems that a woman is always right, and you should accept her criticism like a man and go improve yourself.  But don’t get it in your head that you can  say anything about your expectations for her or criticize her views on anything.  Because women are fragile, you know.  They simply can’t handle the truth about how you feel.  So keep your feelings to yourself, you big brute.  Yeah, I think that’s a bad message.  Especially in the same sentence with demands about equality.

4. Ditch the whole “equality” scam.

gender-mainNobody’s ever been equal in any way except in value before God, and that’s the only way that counts.  This is an ancient, mostly Judeo-Christian concept, so stop acting like you’re the ones who made up the idea of “equality” and the only ones who know how to administer it.  And, by the way, the struggle for equality (or for equitable terms or good jobs or adequate clean water or decent liquor) is a struggle that transcends sex all over the world.  Every one of us is in that struggle.  It’s hard for all of us, except the few fortunate who hit the cashola jackpot.  Equality is really a meaningless thing to be grasped at, and a terrible thing to try to enforce, after all.  Tell me you are looking for love and respect and a decent cold beer and I will nod my head and think you wise.  Tell me you seek equality, and I will think only that you are the biggest imbecile I’ve seen all day.

5. That hypocrisy makes your butt look big.

You don’t know what I’m talking about?  That doesn’t surprise me.  If Pamela knew, I doubt she would have stated #6 the way she did.  “When a woman tells you something is sexist, believe her.”  Uh huh.  And when Al Sharpton tells me something is “racist,” I have to believe him, or I’m racist, right?  The considered opinions of men don’t matter much to you, do they?  Or maybe you just think they are usually wrong, because men are too stupid to know any better.  That’s fine, at least in the ladies locker room.  But in the real world, especially the academic world, when you say something like #6, you’re stating a rule for someone that you have no intention of following yourself, in a reciprocation sense. You’re saying “Never argue with a woman, because she knows.”  But you have no intention of granting men such an inherent knowledge, or authority, about anything.  That’s the very definition of hypocrisy.  Stop it.  Really.  If you do not grant some respect for others’ opinions, regardless of how much you “think” their “group” has abused their “privilege,” then you cannot expect any in return.


About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
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46 Responses to Ok, I’ll See Your 35 Feminist Steps for Men and Raise You These 5 Suggestions for Womyn

  1. barnslayer says:

    Wow! This Mizzz Clark stuff is hysterical if you catch my drift. Hey honey, pop a friggin Midol…. whoa!

  2. texan59 says:

    The sad thing is that a lot of those young guys are now grown-ass “men” and IMHO, the world is not a better place for it. I think that deep down, someone who has the time and inclination to come up with a list like this, only does so because they are so miserable looking for a job with that useless set of degrees and jillions of dollars of student debt that this is the only way they can rationalize their entire sense of being. Or, I guess I could just be utilizing my privilege and patriarchy – whatever the he!! that is.

    • Maybe not, Tex. I’m sure her PhD in Political Science will help to change the world. I predict that the future Dr. Clark could end up being the next State Dept. spokes doctor. She does have the same brainy-looking glasses as Marie Harf. LOL!

  3. zmalfoy says:

    Ditto to everything written above. Pamela really makes an effort to make women look bad.

    . . . It;s almost like. . . like. . .like she’s a paid shill for the Patriarchy!!!11!! oh noes!


  4. HicksterA says:

    I’ll make my comment snappy & short. I’ve read both lists and I still don’t understand either one. I am a women, however. A few aspects of both I can agree, but still …….

  5. HicksterA says:

    Woman. Not plural. typo there

    • That’s ok, Hickster. That’s really a good sign if you don’t “get” either one. The first was kinda ridiculous, and mine was kinda snarky. You’re probably too normal and have too much common sense. 🙂

      • HicksterA says:

        Hey, you are being too kind! No way in this mortal realm can there be such as “too normal”, can there be? I am “gifted” with a colorful amount of idiosyncrasies.
        Having said that, though, it helps quite a bit to read info from the “male perspective”. On this overall topic I’d recently read about the issues of the complex hierarchy within the female strategies of just about everything in life; whereas, the males (if I must say so) have adapted a more direct approach to hierarchy matters within the male “herd”. Women are just sort of (for really lack of knowing how else to term it) “unherdable”.

        • “Unherdable.” Heh! Like cats! 😀

          • HicksterA says:

            Perhaps. BTW: Blessings to your family.

            • Thanks, Hickster! And blessings to you and your good husband and other family! I’m actually blessed with a wonderful wife, and though we’re both equally stubborn, we’ve managed to surrender, each of us, to the Good Lord and to each other in our marriage, and I could not complain about the slightest aspect of it. It makes me uneasy to write posts like this that are so critical of feminists, because I hate to come off as anti-woman, or even like I have some axe to grind in my own marriage. I don’t. I’m very fortunate. If there’s passion in my criticisms, it’s not because of bitterness but out of an amazement with how wonderfully men and women can work together. And strangely, it doesn’t seem to require any rulebooks to help keep score on equality. Thanks for the great comments!

              • HicksterA says:

                Sir, you are welcome. Did not take it as anti-woman. Hey, I’m a woman and, well, I certainly have moments of being anti-woman when there is, at times, such a massive disconnect in the realms amongst womanhood.
                Let’s see, now to this part. THE special person…. he resides in Heaven. Still loved, still missed. Though, time is in Gods hands. For the most part (which I clearly realize sounds morbid) I do not see myself as spouse “material” for so many reasons. Gods ways are mysterious; so therefore, I shall not say “never”. Right?

              • Sorry to jump to conclusions, Hickster. I’m afraid I was thinking of a comment yesterday by Tessa about her hub, and I made the wrong conclusion. I’m glad you know the Lord, and he makes quite the spouse to all of us, doesn’t he? And about you not cut out for spousedom, there’s nothing wrong with that, right?

              • HicksterA says:

                All is OK. Yes, the Lord does! Praise wonders on it all. Have no idea how it would be to get through this life without that guidance. Really don’t. It was a real life fellow, though, too.
                Hope my comment had made sense. Too many gears in the old brain trying to work at the same time.
                ‘Til another day……

              • So, you had a gentleman you were close to who passed on?

              • HicksterA says:

                Yes, about the Gentleman. A bit about him:
                #1) There is a particular photo on the internet of the actor Tom Mison which looks eerily similar to him. He was a couple inches taller in height. Quite similar in stature/build.
                #2) Imo, just about anyone he knew or met realized they were in the presence of someone so unique. He could have made just about any stranger a stranger no more.
                #3) He came from a sensible & stable family. Beautiful family. I remain in contact, still, with some of them.
                #4) The day I first met him there was an, almost, instant spiritual level of connection that I have, to this day, never-ever-never experienced. The day of his death, hours prior to his Ma calling to inform of the awful wretched news it was as if a sense of sorts flooded over me “he’s gone”. At that time, I thought, whoa, that is super crazy thinking. So, then after actually hearing of his death it was a terrible wound to the soul.
                #5) At the time of his death I was just recently still getting settled into a new job, a new town, housing, etc. I did not know any person at work. About 2 days after arriving back to work from the funeral, one of my new co-workers (bless her she meant well) said it was time to move on, get past it, get busy dating. Gads, I was feeling so horrible numb that the whole concept was alien and made the grief worse.
                #6) Grieving is an odd business. The grieving is different for different people. Grieving is also different depending upon the bonds with the lost person…… or so it seems. It’s obvious that people heal through grieving, yet, likewise a person can never forget.

              • Strikingly well expressed, Hickster, about grief. I love how you said that. Your friend must have been a good man and a blessing to have known him.

              • HicksterA says:

                Is there a way to place a photo on here? I’m certain that you are not unfamiliar with the grieving, as I am sure many others here know of it too.
                Hey, all have a great 4th of July! 🙂

              • Hick, all you have to do to post a photo is put the link to it in your comment, and we’ll display it for you. If it’s not already online somewhere, you can email it to me, and I’ll put it up. If that’s what you want to do, I’ll email you my address.

            • HicksterA says:


              Hopefully this works out. This is the particular photo of similarity. Had been quickly glancing at the photos online one day after hearing about the tv show Sleepy Hollow (which, imo, is both the worst & yet peculiar in its creativity). Anyhow, upon the fast glance at this particular photo that’s when I thought of similarities. The overall expression. Structural differences, though, of nose and ears.
              So, that’s that.

              • Handsome guy! If you have any actual pics of your friend, we can post those, too. They’ll just require emailing, probably, unless you have them on Flickr or Photobucket…

              • HicksterA says:

                Ok. One. Let me know the email to send to. Thanks.

              • HicksterA says:

                Mr. Cristo, no photobucket or flickr stuff. Just direct email. After ruminating on the matter I decide I’m not real bold about putting his image out on the net. Just how it is. But I while gladly send one photo to an email & a few of you are welcome to notice the similarities. Thank You.
                Sound fair enough?

              • I’ll send the email, but please, don’t send his pic unless you have a reason to. If you’re curious to know if we see a resemblance, we’ll be happy to oblige, but it’s entirely up to you. And of course, we won’t post it publicly if that’s your wish.

  6. tessa50 says:

    One of the stupidest things I’ve ever read. Whatever happened to a man and his wife deciding amongst themselves what was right for them? My hub never did housework, he does now, some, as I am needing help, physical. But I never did yard work except when he broke his ankle. We decided, didn’t need a list or rules from some stupid woman. I really don’t know what people think anymore. To me, if a couple is happy? I don’t care who does what. I probably just broke a rule there somewhere…

    • Probably… 😉 I think you said it just right. Pretty crazy how some young kids think, because they have a masters degree and an almost PhD and read a bunch of books, that they can tell people how to live. Got it all figured out. And it’s not good enough for you to sit down with your husband and figure out how you want to do things, because everything’s gotta be “equal.” When we were visiting the Hawaiian folks, GFC’s wife said it best. There’s nothing equal about marriage except that you both give 100%. What else is there to figure out? A wise woman, she is.

      • tessa50 says:

        Yes, she is, because my first thought after reading your comment is nothing is equal. You go with the flow and adjust as necessary and never forget why you are with them.

      • I still think I’m wiser (as I get an “oh brother” & eye roll) cause I married her and she is the better end of the “us”. 🙂

    • HicksterA says:

      Of what you say may be so. An example of that would be how my Ma & Dad worked things out on the farmstead for decades. What with Dad being mostly blind, he depended upon Ma to being his eyes. In that sense she became a master mechanic, repair-person, veterinarian assist….. just about whatever. He had a most uncanny sense of spatial awareness. He could back a tractor and trailer into a barn or shed, whatever, with surgical precision in spite of his lack of sight. Seriously. One of his most amazing abilities, though, was that of being an excellent listener. It seemed he had the patience of Job to listen to just about anyone drone on & on about whatever was their troubles.

  7. Man, the Patriarchy is busy!
    “As the group writes in their “Manifesto for the Visibility of the Period,” the taboo surrounding menstruation serves to oppress women and reinforce patriarchal systems.”

    • zmalfoy says:

      Ugh. Oh god, I can’t unsee that.

      Did it never occur to these women that the taboo surrounding menstruation served to protect women as much as anything else?

      1) We (as in, all of humanity) don’t want to see it, because it is, literally, a messy thing. Just like if you had a gash in your arm and were bleeding out, it stains everyting it touches, getting it all over stuff is unhygenic, and ugh. . . I can’t believe this even has to be written out.

      2) The “Taboo” that surrounds menstruation, while sometimes taken to very unhealthy extremes, primarily serves to allow women a good ~three to seven out of ~28 days when, in a tribal lifestyle, men will not bother them. “Oh, honey, I can’t do the dishes, or be made to have sex with you, cuz I’m bleeding all over the place! I really just gotta go have some “me” time, maybe have some time with the other girls . . . get a massage. . .”

      Also, could be used to prevent assault. “Dude, you can’t rape me, look, I’ve got the Dark-Magic-Blood-Moon Power right here! Did you hear that this stuff dissolves iron, and makes cattle impotent? Watch out, dude, this is pretty harsh stuff where you’re wanting to put your thing!”

      . . . jes sayin

      • Good points. What you’re saying also brings to mind the taboos imposed on men (by the Patriarchy? The Matriarchy? Whatever!) to curtail certain behavior that most people, but especially women, just don’t want to see. You know, like drag racing their AMC Gremlins, showing butt-crack while working on stuff, public knife fights to settle baseball card disputes, and that one thing that you usually only see male monkeys doing at the zoo. We all have taboos that restrict our freedoms, but many of them have legitimate motivations.

        • freedom1781 says:

          drag racing their AMC Gremlins

          HAHAHAHA!! ROFLMAO!!!

        • zmalfoy says:

          Yep, pretty much. There’s a large segment of academia whose sole goal in life is to rid the world of all taboos, because presumably, all taboos are bad. But the more I learn to think things through and use a little bit of imagination, the more I realise that most taboos aren’t arbitrary things– they came about for a reason.

          I will allow that humans have a tendancy, sometimes, to go too far with taboos. . . but likewise with the elimination of them.

    • freedom1781 says:

      Yuck. That picture is very disturbing. Someone bring out the eye bleach!!!

    • True facts about the feminists… “Oh God! There’s even a picture…”

    • Knight4GFC says:

      You are responsible for my current mental state.

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