Gentlemen are Rare: Columnist Cites Seven Things Millennial Men are Missing

To complement our recent post on the (highly dubious) List of 35 Ways Men Can Be Better Feminists (*eyeroll*), we present this new list of ways that Hope Gabrielle Rodriguez recommends for men trying to be better gentlemen. This essay was first seen via Clash Daily .  This one comes with our approval.

jpg1The other day I had just finished up a long day of studying at the library and I was riding the elevator down to the first floor.  A guy probably a year or two older than me got on the elevator, and after we reached the first floor, he barged off, nearly knocking me over with his backpack.  My first thought of course was “Wow..who raised you?!”  Throughout my entire drive home, I thought about all of the things that most men have apparently stopped doing when it comes to being a gentleman.

 

1. Elevator etiquette

I don’t care how big of a hurry you’re in, or how slow she may walk, if there is a female or five on the elevator with you, you hold your arm in the door and let them off first.

2. R-E-S-P-E-C-T (sing it to the tune of Aretha Franklin)

If a female walks past you, for God’s sake, do not turn your head and stare at her behind. If she is talking to you, don’t stare down her shirt. If you’re driving down the road, don’t honk or yell “hey sexy!!!!” Gross. Undressing a girl with your eyes is one of the most disgusting and degrading things you could possibly do to her. Don’t worry about getting a date, you’ve already ruined it by being a pig.

3. Give up your seat.

I see a lack of this all the time. The other day I watched two guys get up and offer their seats to women, and one remained seating. I could tell which ones were raised correctly. Whether she is old, young, pregnant, active, fat, skinny, whatever; if the bus, classroom, etc. is full, get up from your chair and offer your seat to a female who is standing. If you chose to stay in your seat and force ladies to remain standing, make sure you remember to take off your maxi pad on the way out. (oops, did I just say that?!)

4. Pay attention to the fact that the world is more threatening for females

We are automatic targets everywhere we go, especially at night. I don’t need to get into the subject of rape. Walk your female coworkers to their cars at night. Just watch out for the women around you, they’ll definitely appreciate it.

5. Be polite.

Being polite covers a pretty wide range of things. For example, if you see someone struggling to reach something on the top shelf, grab it for her. If she’s struggling while trying to carry a flat screen television through Best Buy, offer to help. Even if she declines, at least you’ve been polite. A smile and a “good morning” can go a long way. Trust me, after we’ve had a rough morning of waking up late, rushing to work/class, and forgetting things at home, we do appreciate a little bit of random kindness.

About a month ago I was literally having the worst day possible.There was a guy in the elevator with me in the library (why am I always here?) and he asked how my day was going. Of course, I took this one minute opportunity to complain about nursing school and how much I had to study that day. He wished me good luck on my upcoming tests and to have a much better day. I didn’t even know his name but it made my WEEK.. and I still remember it. Compliment a lady today. They aren’t going to automatically assume that you want to have babies with them just because you said they look nice today. You would be surprised by what can make a woman smile. Little things, men. Little things.

Read the rest of the list at ClashDaily.com.  Hat tip to Knight4gfc for first telling us about this website.

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About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
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14 Responses to Gentlemen are Rare: Columnist Cites Seven Things Millennial Men are Missing

  1. HicksterA says:

    The gal has a couple of points similar to the other one in the 35. Guess not sure what to respond. Females of each generation or time epoch have different expectations and issues to deal with regarding the male counterpart.

    • tessa50 says:

      And vice versa…

      To me it is just so simple, for both sexes, be nice! There are always going to be rude people, forget them. They shouldn’t occupy your mind. What gets me is anyone telling men or women how to act in a marriage. I am a firm believer in the couple themselves working that out, otherwise they are doomed.

      • HicksterA says:

        You speak wisdom.

        • Agreed! Kinda seems a little arrogant, doesn’t it? So many people willing to tell you how to do everything, like raising your kids or feeding yourselves. Michelle Obama is insisting right now that if the government doesn’t step in and force people to feed their kids a certain way, they’ll all starve, because they say parents are too stupid to do it. They’ve been doing it for thousands of years just fine, but she insists. And everyone seems so pushy with the marriage advice. Seems like the best ones to figure that out are the couple themselves.

          But I do think there’s some room for learning from other people. Like a father instructing a son on how to be a gentleman, or a mother teaching a daughter some pointers on getting through her husbands defenses. But it doesn’t help when people hit you with conflicting advice. Ultimately, you only have yourselves to decide.

  2. Knight4GFC says:

    A chivalrous gentleman is a hard one to come by I’m sure. A true feminine woman who allows a gentleman to be chivalrous is equally hard to find. AMEN!.. especially to #2. I cannot stand seeing my own gender do this… ALL the time! Day in and day out.

    • Absolutely. Respect is hard to come by these days. And the disrespect comes in different forms. There’s ogling, but you also see a lot of really harsh “body shaming” where guys will make fun of the way a woman looks. When did that become an ok thing to do?

      • Knight4GFC says:

        What you say is so true. Very wrong. I loathe this as well. Whenever I see this sort of thing, I usually counter the attack as best as possible. It’s hard to console a person who already has low self esteem about their looks (or themselves in general) and some bag of goat slime just cut them down. And you would bet that the attacker would be well away when I happen on the scene.

    • zmalfoy says:

      Yeah, I’ve gotten the “holla out the car window” a few times. I don’t understand it — Is this behavior supposed to impress me?

      *smh* But you know, that somewhere along the line, some female must have given a positive response to such behavior. . . it's a vicious cycle of mutual degredation. Both "sides" need to up their game. . .

      • barnslayer says:

        What you mention is textbook old Brooklyn. Prior to that it was wolf whistles and “hubba hubba”.

    • HicksterA says:

      LOL. 🙂

  3. ZurichMike says:

    And real men don’t overdramatize being polite and chivalrous. You hold the door, offer your seat, and get on with life without expecting to be noticed, thanked, or photographed and posted online with “like!” as the caption.

    May I add one more thing? Gentlemen should *lead* a woman through a restaurant or crowded area. It is considered polite, and also makes sense; men are usually taller, have bigger shoulders, and can clear a path, so to speak, for the woman.

    I know this is very old-fashioned, but I think it is soooooooo cool when a lady stands to excuse herself from the table for a moment, and the gentlemen at the table will stand until she has left, and also stand when she returns to the table, and one of them helps her be seated.

    • I agree. That last one you mentioned is a sore point with me, because my dad never taught me that, and I stupidly stayed seated, as a boy, when there were ladies standing, talking to my grandparents in a nice restaurant in Toledo once. Everybody looked at me as if to ask if I were raised in a barn. I just didn’t know. Since then, I’ve tried to stand up quick in this situation. And that reminds me, we have a house full of men right now, and this would be a good time to go over some gentlemanly instruction with the sons. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Knight4GFC says:

      “…get on with life without expecting to be noticed, thanked, or photographed and posted online with “like!” as the caption.”

      Give without expecting in return. That’s “genuine fine” right there. My generation as a whole (and younger), are so self-centered these days.

      To be selfless, is to love others. To be selfish, is to hate yourself.

      “I know this is very old-fashioned…”

      Old-school is right! Haha! But I am in total agreement here. However, even this “old-school” way may get you thought as “being overdramatizing.”

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